Escapades on the Book of Faces
by Peach Italian Ice
Summary: What would happen if our cute and cuddly friends were on Facebook? After consulting with Kowalski, I can now say there's an 82% chance of insanity.
1. Mind Control, Lunacorns, and 'BFF's

**Disclaimer: I own ****not 'The Penguins of Madagascar', nor Facebook. If I did I would be chilling on my yacht instead of writing fan-fiction.**

**A/N: ** If this has been done before, I'm sorry for being redundant! I've seen it done for other shows, and thought it would be funny done in POM-fashion. I will try to amuse you, and I may succeed, but I may also fail miserably. If that's the case, you may all make fun of me in the reviews. Please do, actually; I appreciate honesty. Oh, and one more thing. If this has been done before, I'm sorry for being redundant.

* * *

**Skipper **is now friends with **Marlene **and **3 others**

**48 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **and **3 others **like this**]**

* * *

**Skipper **I still think this is stupid.

**46 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Kowalski **and **2 others **like this**]**

**9 **comments

**Marlene ** Aw, c'mon, Skipper. It's fun!

**Kowalski **I'm highly skeptical of this form of communication. We are, after all, mere meters from each other.

**Private **um, how do

**Kowalski **?

**Private **gah! wrong button!

**Skipper **FUN? Marlene, social networking is a huge scam! Soon your mind will be stolen! And all of ours too!

**Marlene **-_-... I'm not even going to grace that with a response.

**Skipper **Oh really? Well, when you're a slave of the government, don't expect a rescue from me! Oh, and Kowalski, WHY are you using the metric system?

**Kowalski **-_-...

* * *

**Private **i still can't figure this out. how do I post a photo?

**12 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**7** comments

**Kowalski **Click 'Add Photo/Video'. It's right at the top of the screen.

**Private **where? i don't see it...

**Kowalski ***facepalm*

**Private **what does that mean?

**Kowalski **It's right at the top of the page. RIGHT next to the button you used to post your status.

**Private **my what?

**Kowalski ***sigh*... You'll figure it out eventually.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **is now friends with **Marlene **and **3 others**

**39 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **and **Private **like this**]**

* * *

**King Julien XIII **hello my loyal subjects! i thought i should be jumping on the wagon of bands!

**34 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

[**Marlene **likes this**]**

**6 **comments

**Marlene **Hey KJ! What's up? Glad to see you joined us!

**King Julien XIII **hello marlene! yes, i have joined you to be in the party, because no one has a party without the party king!

**Marlene **Made friends with everyone on here?

**King Julien XIII **almost. the frowny flat-headed penguin has yet to accept my kingly request!

**Marlene **Ah. Well, he's not on that much. I'm sure he just hasn't seen it yet.

**King Julien XIII **yes, that is most likely the cases. he is not on HERE because he is too boring! [**Marlene **likes this]

* * *

**Private **said on **Kowalski's **wall: how do I edit the picture?

**16 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**5 **comments

**Kowalski **You hit the 'edit' button.

**Private **where is it?

**Kowalski **It's next to a little pencil symbol.

**Private **yes! I found it! 8D

**Kowalski **Good for you.

* * *

**Private **said on **Kowalski's **wall: now how do i crop it?

**3 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**2 **comments

**Kowalski ***bangs head into wall*

**Private **what?

* * *

**Marlene **said on **Skipper's **wall: So, you gonna friend Julien?

**31 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**12 **comments

**Skipper **No.

**Marlene **Why not? We're all one big FAMILY! :)

**Skipper **That's cute, Marlene. Very cute. But Ringtail annoys me ENOUGH in real life.

**Marlene **Aw, c'mon, Skip.

**Skipper **Did you just call me 'Skip'?

**Marlene **Yyyyyeah... so?

**Skipper **-_-

**Marlene **Emoticon. Look at you. Impressive.

**Skipper **Is that sarcasm I read? You know that's MY thing. ;)

**Marlene **-_- You're annoying.

**Skipper **As annoying as Ringtail?

**Marlene **Sometimes, yes. You can be.

* * *

**Rico **FIIIIIIIISH!

**10 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Skipper **likes this**]**

**2 **comments

**Skipper **Almost time for dinner, Rico! Alaskan salmon!

**Rico **YUM!

* * *

**Private **posted a photo on his wall.

**8 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Rico **and **3 others **like this**]**

**8** comments

**Rico **HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Marlene **LOL! Private, that's priceless. I didn't know Skipper liked Lunacorns!

**Private **well, he doesn't really, i just snapped it while he was picking mine up to put it away! ;D

**Julien **THIS IS HILARIOUSNESS!

**Kowalski **Bahaha! Genius, Private. Skipper won't be happy when he sees this!

**Skipper **PRIVATE!

**Kowalski **O_O Told you.

**Private **tee hee 0:-)

* * *

**Skipper **is now friends with **King Julien XIII**

**27 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **likes this**]**

**4 **comments

**Marlene **Hooray for friendship! ;)

**King Julien XIII **I knew you could not be avoiding your wonderful king forever! =D

**Skipper **Yeah, well, I didn't want to bruise your fragile ego and have you go insane. Because then you'd be even more annoying.

**Marlene **lol...

* * *

**A/N: **That's all for the first chapter! Chapter 2 will be up in a few days. Please review!


	2. Free Meat, Pretzels, and EVACUATION!

**Disclaimer: Of course I still don't own 'Penguins of Madagascar' or Facebook. Because this is so obvious, this disclaimer stands for all other chapters to come.**

**A/N: **Thanks for all the great reviews guys!

* * *

**Private **wrote on** Skipper's **wall: hi skipper! what time does defensive training start today?

**4 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**6** comments

**Skipper **Uh, couldn't you have just ASKED me that?

**Private **i did ask you just now.

**Skipper **I mean in real life. We're in the same room.

**Private **oh. i guess so. but its fun to write on walls!

**Skipper ***sigh*... Defensive training starts at 1400 hours.

**Private **thanks skipper! :D

* * *

**Kowalski **just read an article.

**"Strange quarks"** Some of the smallest particles in the universe play an important role. They ... **See More**

**45 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **likes this**]**

**7 **comments

**Skipper **You read a science article? No way!

**Kowalski -_-**...

**Marlene **lol, Skipper... This is a neat read!

**Skipper **Seriously though, why do we need to know this?

**Marlene **Because it's INTERESTING to see what your friends are doing!

**Skipper **What's next? 'Marlene blinked!' REALLY? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THAT'S SO EXCITING!

**Marlene **You are insufferable. **[Kowalski **likes this**]**

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Skipper's **wall: HELLO!

**8 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Skipper's **wall: DANCING TURKEYS AND COCONUTS!

**8 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Skipper's **wall: GREEN EGGS AND HAM!

**8 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Skipper's **wall: WHERE IS MY FREE MEAT?

**7 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Skipper's **wall: AM I DOING THIS WRONG?

**7 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**6** comments

**Skipper **RINGTAIL! I WILL KILL YOU, I SWEAR!

**King Julien XIII **no, it's okay, i read about this! you post a whole bunch of random stuff in all caps, and then you get sent some yummy spam in the mail!

**Skipper **NOT THAT KIND OF SPAM!

**King Julien XIII **really? oh. that's too bad.

**Skipper **GAHHHH YOU ARE A MENACE!

**Marlene **LOL!

* * *

**Marlene **is going to get some pretzels! -with **Skipper, Private **and **Rico**

**34 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Private **likes this**]**

**5 **comments

**Kowalski **Hey, why wasn't I invited?

**Skipper **Because you were in your lab! We didn't want to evoke the wrath of a mad scientist! [**Marlene **likes this]

**Kowalski **-_-

**Private **we brought some back for you! :D

**Kowalski **In that case, all is forgiven.

* * *

**Rico **Blah blah oogie boogie BLAH! Vroom vroom!

**9 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Skipper **and **2 others **like this**]**

**6 **comments

**Skipper **Nice, soldier! I think that's a new racetrack record!

**Marlene **Did you seriously understand that?

**Skipper **Once you grow accustomed to Rico and his nonsensical talk, you begin to crack the mysterious code.

**Marlene **Really?

**Skipper **That, and I was in the car too.

**Marlene **...oh.

* * *

**Private** likes **The Lunacorns**

**21 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[King Julien XIII **likes this**]**

**6 **comments

**Skipper **Ohhhh no, don't tell me you're bringing that sickening show onto Facebook too!

**Private **but it's educational!

**King Julien XIII **did you see on yesterday's episode when lord selflessheart got stuck in that tree? it was so sad until princess self-respecta rescued him!

**Private **gah! i haven't seen that episode yet! don't say any more!

**King Julien XIII **oh. oopsies! then i will say nothing about how prince shares-a-lot found out about his surprise birthday party either!  
**Private **NO! lalalalalala i can't hear you!

* * *

**Private **wrote on **Kowalski's **wall: how do i play words with friends?

**10 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**3 **comments

**Kowalski ***groan*... Why don't you just walk over and ask me and let me show you? WE'RE INCHES APART!

**Private **hey, you're right! that's a great idea!

**Kowalski ***facepalm*

* * *

**Skipper **AUGH! This stupid site changed me to Timeline without my permission! THE INVASION HAS STARTED! THEY'RE GETTING INTO OUR HEADS! EVACTUATE THE PLANET!

**23 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**9 **comments

**Marlene ***facepalm*

**Private **invasion? evacuate? AHHHHHHHH!

**Kowalski **Don't you think that's a bit overboard, sir? **[Marlene **likes this**]**

**Skipper **Overboard? I'll tell you what's overboard! Soon they'll be stealing all of our personal information! Turning our entire culture into slaves!

**King Julien XIII **hey, no one is to be making the king evacuate from his kingly kingdom!

**Marlene **Really? Just, really?

* * *

**A/N: **That's all for now! The next part should be up by April 13th!


	3. Popcorn and Words With Friends

**A/N: **Once again, a big thanks to my reviewers! I just saw that there was a fanfic like this with the EXACT SAME NAME a few months back that I didn't know of, so I might change the name of this to something more original if I can think of one.

* * *

**Marlene **wrote on **Skipper's **timeline: Want to go get some popcorn?

**5 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**10 **comments

**Skipper **Well, I had training planned for today, so I don't know.

**Marlene **You have time to go on Facebook!

**Skipper **I'm not on Facebook.

**Marlene **Uh, yeah, I see the little green dot by your name. You're online RIGHT. NOW.

**Skipper **You didn't see anything...

**Marlene **Really, Skipper? Really? -_-

**Skipper **Alright, alright, we can go get some popcorn. **[Kowalski **likes this**]**

**Kowalski **So... training is postponed?

**Skipper **Yup. Tell the others we're starting a half-hour late.

**Kowalski **Understood, sir.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **THIS IS AN OUTRAGEOUSNESS! the book of faces has taken away my wall for a line of times! no one takes the king's wall away!

**13 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**6 **comments

**Skipper **I KNOW RIGHT? It's terrible!

**King Julien XIII **terrible is a statement that is to be under!

**Marlene **Woah... am I actually witnessing you guys... AGREEING?

**King Julien XIII **yes marlene, you are to be seeing right. this is stepping over the line for the book of faces!

**Skipper **I hear ya, brother!

**Marlene **...Excuse me while I leave the computer momentarily to search the sky for flying pigs. **[Kowalski **and **Private **like this**]**

* * *

**Private **started a game of **Words With Friends **with **Kowalski **

**10 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **likes this**]**

**4** comments

**Marlene **Aw, sounds fun! :)

**Kowalski **Private, this is a bad idea. You can't possibly envisage emulating my predominant vocabulary!

**Private **...huh?

**Kowalski ***facepalm* This is what I mean.

* * *

**Private **played 'BEE' in **Words With Friends**

**2 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**2 **comments

**Kowalski **Really? Three letters?

**Private **what? bee is a nice word! :)

* * *

**Kowalski **played 'BASHLYK' in **Words With Friends**

**3 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**2 **comments

**Private **awwww, you have so many points now!

**Kowalski **That's because you acquire a bonus for using all seven letters.

* * *

**Private **played 'YOU' in **Words With Friends**

**2 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**2 **comments

**Kowalski **Private, you have to utilize tiles like the 'double word' and 'triple letter' if you want to get a lot of points!

**Private **but it's not easy!

* * *

**Kowalski **played 'ACHIOTE' in **Words With Friends**

**3 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**4 **comments

**Private **what does that even mean? D:

**Kowalski **It's a noun; the seeds of the annotto tree.

**Private **kowalskiiiiii! you're being mean! D:

**Kowalski **I'm playing the game! YOU started it!

* * *

**Private **played 'EGGS' in **Words With Friends**

**4 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**19** comments

**Kowalski **Private! Play words with more letters!

**Private **like what? that one got me 13 points.

**Kowalski **I never settle for less than 30.

**Private **that's because you're a show-off!

**Kowalski **Am not!

**Private **are too!

**Kowalski **Am not!

**Skipper **Woah, woah, what's going on?

**Private **kowalski's beating me! D:

**Skipper **Kowalski, we talked about this. Go easy on the private!

**Kowalski ***sigh* Fine. By the way, how was your date with Marlene?

**Skipper **My WHAT? Getting some popcorn is NOT a date!

**Kowalski **If you say so... ;)

**Skipper **I DO SAY SO!

**Kowalski **How was your trip to get popcorn with Marlene?

**Skipper **THAT'S more like it. It was fun. And delicious.

**Kowalski **You do mean the popcorn, right? ;)

**Skipper **KOWALSKI!

**Kowalski **Heh...

* * *

**Marlene **had some yummy popcorn! -with **Skipper**

**7 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Private **and **2 others **like this**]**

**6 **comments

**Rico **Yum! :D Fish too?

**Marlene **No fish, Rico. Just popcorn. I don't like fish much, I'm more of an oyster fan. But Skipper grabbed some fish sticks for you guys while we were out!

**Rico **Yay!

**King Julien XIII **how come I did not get any of the poppity corn?

**Marlene **Well, we could go get some together later today Julien! :)

**King Julien XIII **really? goody! :D

* * *

**Kowalski **played 'GOOD' in **Words With Friends**

**6 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**2 **comments

**Kowalski **There, I opened up a 'Triple Word' tile for you, Private. Just play a word with a lot of high-scoring letters there.

**Private **alright! :D

* * *

**Private **played 'BED' in **Words With Friends**

**4 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**9 **comments

**Kowalski **Private! What kind of word is that?

**Private **what? it got me 18! :D

**Kowalski **But it was a triple word! A TRIPLE WORD! AND I WASTED IT SO YOU COULD PLAY A WORD WITH ONLY THREE LETTERS!

**Private **it's not my fault you're too hard to play against!

**Kowalski ***groan*...

**Private **i'm telling skipper you're being mean again!

**Kowalski **I'm not being mean, I'm being RATIONAL!

**Private **you're being mean!

**Kowalski ***sigh* Fine, I'll ATTEMPT to let you win.

* * *

**Rico **Akh jed oogie fish fish akh!

**10 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Skipper **likes this**]**

**4 **comments

**Marlene **Huh?

**Skipper **Yup, they were delicious fish sticks!

**King Julien XIII **i, who is me, your king, decree that there is no such thing!

**Marlene **No such thing as what? Fish sticks?

**King Julien XIII ** no, no such thing as DELICIOUS fishy fish sticks! fish are terrible!

**Skipper **Blasphemy!

**King Julien XIII **the king decrees it! fish are terrible!

**Skipper **Decree, my foot! Your 'decree' means nothing!

**Marlene **Are you guys really fighting about FISH now? *sigh* I guess that moment of agreement this morning was too good to last.


	4. Lemur, Lemur, Lunacornville

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in the posting of this chapter- life got in the way. After this point I will try to make a goal of posting one chapter every three days.

* * *

**Maurice **is now friends with **King Julien XIII **and **5 others**

**25 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[King Julien XIII **likes this**]**

**9** comments

**King Julien XIII **yes! you are now on this cool book of faces as well! i knew you would listen to me.

**Maurice **Well, rule number one, don't question the king...

**Marlene **Hey Maurice! :) Welcome to our little party!

**Maurice **Hey Marlene! I thought I should, you know, keep an eye on you-know-who.

**King Julien XIII **what are you to be talking about? you are here because if i need something, and say it on these lines of times, you can take care of it!

**Maurice **Mmhm. Wouldn't want you to have to actually CALL for me to get your smoothie now.

**King Julien XIII **exactly! :D

**Skipper **Hello, Maurice! Just be careful. Don't let those hippie hacker nerds steal all of your information. They'll take away your freedom before you can say, '!'

**Maurice **Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

* * *

**Private **won a game of Words With Friends with **Kowalski**

**10 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Skipper **likes this**]**

**7** comments

**Skipper **Nice, Private!

**Kowalski **I LET HIM WIN.

**Private **thank you, skipper. :) AND IM NEVER PLAYING WITH YOU AGAIN KOWALSKI!

**Kowalski **DITTO!

**Skipper **Woah! Do I need to double training tomorrow?

**Private **no sir!

**Kowalski **Absolutely not!

* * *

**Marlene **likes **Billy Joel**

**31 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Skipper **and **Maurice **like this**]**

**12 **comments

**Skipper **I always knew you had good taste in music! ;)

**Marlene **Really Skipper? I thought you hated music.

**Skipper **Again, I don't hate music, I hate noise. Billy Joel's fine by me! In fact, mind if I borrow your album?

**Marlene **No problem! :)

**King Julien XIII **hey hey hey! all music must be regulated by the music king! to complete the transaction, that will be... twenty mangoes!

**Marlene **What! C'mon, Julien, why are you making us pay?

**Skipper **You want twenty mangoes? Oh, I'll give you twenty mangoes... AND TWENTY BRUISES!

**Maurice **Uh, actually, your Highness, we don't have a music transaction fee.

**King Julien XIII **we dont? oh. my bad. then, your king gives you permission to go about your regular business now!

**Skipper **Maurice, I salute you.

**Marlene **Ditto!

**Maurice **Anytime, guys.

* * *

**Mort **is now friends with **King Julien XIII **and **6 others**

**45 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Marlene **likes this**]**

**15 **comments

**King Julien XIII **where is the 'not like' button? mort cannot have a book of faces! it is only for the king!

**Marlene **Then why'd you friend him?

**King Julien XIII **well duh, the king must have as many friends as possible. silly otter.

**Marlene **Okayyyy...

**Mort **HI KNG JLIEB I LOGE YIUR FETGB!

**King Julien XIII **look mort! you cannot even be typing right! look at all those teepos! it is making the king dizzy! what are you even saying?

**Maurice **I THINK he said, "Hi King Julien, I love your feet." Not positive. And it's 'typos'.

**Mort **:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) SMILIES YAY!

**King Julien XIII **AUGH! he is almost more annoying on the inner nets than he is in persons!

**Marlene **Don't listen to him, Mort. Welcome! :)

**Mort **u hav smilie too! i like smilies!

**Skipper **Hey Sad-eyes!

**Private **hi mort, you silly little lemur! :)

**Mort **i like frends!

**King Julien XIII **UGHNESS!

* * *

**Private **started a magic village on **Lunacornville**

**13 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[King Julien XIII **likes this**]**

**7 **comments

**Skipper ***groan*...

**Private **its so much fun! :D play it, skipper!

**Skipper **When Alice flies.

**Private **but... alice cant fly.

**Skipper **Exactly.

**King Julien XIII **i was not knowing there was to be such a fabulous game! i decree that the king shall play this!

**Private **yay! :D

* * *

**King Julien XIII **started a magic village on **Lunacornville **

**17 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Private **likes this**]**

**3 **comments

**Private **hooray! what shop did you put in your village first?

**King Julien XIII **i went with the grooming parlor, of course! all my little loony corns will be looking fabulous like me!

**Private **its 'lunacorns'... but great choice! :D

* * *

**Mort **wrote on **King Julien XIII's **timeline: i love u feet!

**7 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**Mort **wrote on **King Julien XIII's **timeline: i love u feet!

**6 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**Mort **wrote on **King Julien XIII's **timeline: i love u feet!

**5 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

* * *

**Mort **wrote on **King Julien XIII's **timeline: i love u feet!

**4 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**[Mort **likes this**]**

**6 **comments

**King Julien XIII **MORT! YOU ARE CLOGGING UP THE ROYAL LINE OF THE TIMES WITH YOUR FOOLISHNESS! HOW DARE YOU! **[Skipper **likes this**]**

**Skipper **Payback! HA! How do you like the taste of your own medicine, Ringtail?

**King Julien XIII **who is to be tasting medicine? not me! what i am tasting is the taste of annoyingness! AND MORT IS THE ONE DOING THE ANNOYINGNESS!

**Mort **dos annoyingness taste yumi?

**King Julien XIII **NO!

**Skipper **Now THIS is even better than the movie we watched last night! **[Marlene **likes this**]**

* * *

**Private **gifted a Friendship Tree to **King Julien XIII **in **Lunacornville**

**9 minutes ago **Like : Comment: Share

**[King Julien XIII **likes this**]**

**10 **comments

**King Julien XIII **thank you, silly cute one!

**Private **you're welcome. :) now i need some more pieces of white picket fence. can you gift some to me?

**King Julien XIII **what? the king does not give gifts! the king only is receiving thems!

**Private **but thats kind of how this game works... i gift things to you, you gift things to me, and we're all happy friends! :D

**King Julien XIII **nobody was telling me i had to give my stuff away! this game is full of the lameness.

**Private **but julien, if you never give stuff back to your lunacronville neighbors, you won't get any friendship points!

**King Julien XIII **eh, what is this about points?

**Private **you get friendship points for giving gifts, and these points buy you SPECIAL items! like the limited edition pink daffodil seeds that will, uh, make your... kingdom... more fabulous!

**King Julien XIII **oh, i am liking this plan! yes, i have decided i will give gifts to the neighbors, rack up these special kingly points, and get much more stuff! glad i thought of that.

**Private **-_-... that was MY idea!

**Maurice **I feel ya, Private. Just go with it.


	5. A Random Kentuckian and a Plot Twist

**A/N: **Ah, since I'm kind of winging this story, I've found I can't make promises about when future chapters will be up. Apologies. I'll update when I can, and when I finish future stories, they'll be entirely done and scheduled. Now I should probably be quiet and let you enjoy this story... no more author notes unless it's really important. Have fun reading!

* * *

**King Julien XIII **gifted a piece of white picket fence to **Private **in **Lunacornville.**

**32** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Private **likes this**]**

**7 **comments

**Private **thanks a bunch julien! :D

**King Julien XIII **you are welcome. and i got many friendship points too! i love this game!

**Marlene **Sounds fun! Maybe I should play.

**Skipper **Oh, COME ON, Marlene. It's pacifist mushiness! You'll turn into a hippie!

**Marlene **Really, Skipper? It's just a game! It seems cute!

**Private **it is! :)

**Skipper ***bangs head against wall*

* * *

**Marlene **started a magic village in **Lunacornville.**

**18 minutes ago **Like **:** Comment **:** Share

**[Private **and **King Julien **like this**]**

**3 **comments

**Private **yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

**Skipper** Arrrrrrrg!

* * *

**Private **is now friends with **Beth**

**41 minutes ago **Like **:** Comment **:** Share

**[Beth **likes this**]**

**9 **comments

**Skipper **...Did I miss something? We don't have a Beth in our zoo, right, or is it just me out of the loop?

**Marlene **No, Skipper, I'm also confused. Private, who is Beth?

**King Julien XIII **As king, I also demand to know!

**Private **she's a girl I found online by accident! did you know she lives in Kentucky? she seems very friendly.

**Kowalski **Private, are you sure it's a good idea to just friend random girls from Kentucky?

**Skipper **Kowalski's right. She could be a spy!

**Marlene **Okay, 1. She's probably not a spy. 2. Private, even though I think it's important to trust others and make new friends, you should be more careful. You don't know this person!

**Skipper **UGH. Marlene, I knew you'd be brainwashed by that Lunacorn Happy City thing!

**Private **its Lunacornville, Skipper! and this could be a wonderful opportunity to make friends across the states!

* * *

**Private **updated his cover photo.

**35 minutes ago **Like** :** Comment **:** Share

**[Beth **likes this**]**

**13 **comments

**Kowalski **Who is Beth...?

**Private **my new friend! :)

**Beth **I am Beth, and Beth is me. By the way, that's a very pretty picture of those flowers, Private. Did you take that yourself?

**Skipper **Oh, hello there, random girl from Kentucky. Or should I call you, random SPY from Kentucky?

**Beth **What are you talking about? o_O Your friends are weird, Private.

**Kowalski **Hey!

**Private **she's not a spy! D: and yes, beth, i did take it myself. thank you. :)

**Skipper **How are you so sure, Private? She could be Dr. Blowhole himself for all we know!

**Beth **Who? o_O

**Private **but go look at her profile picture! she's just a girl!

**Kowalski ***facepalm* Private, do you know how easy it is to upload a fake profile picture?

**King Julien XIII **THE KING MUST SAY HI TO THE RANDOM GIRL TOO! HIIIIIIII! 8D

**Beth **Ummmm, hi.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **is now friends with **Beth**

**31 minutes ago **Like **:** Comment** :** Share

**[Private **and **Beth **like this**]**

**5 **comments

**Skipper ***groan*...

**Beth **Nice to meetcha, Julien.

**Private **i'm glad at least you're open to meeting new people, julien!

**King Julien XIII **who said anything about meeting people? the king is above that! i just want as many friends as possible!

**Maurice **Wait, who's Beth?

**Skipper **Here we go again.

**Beth **I'm a new friend of Private's and Julien's. I live in Kentucky. I love chocolate milk. I like dolphins. That is all you shall know about me.

**Skipper **DOLPHINS, eh?

**Beth **Yes...?

**Skipper **You wouldn't happen to KNOW any, would you? Or... BE one? Hmmm?

**Beth **Uh, no, crazy. Dolphins can't talk... or type.

**Skipper **LIAR.

* * *

**Skipper **started a game of **Ultimate Chess **with **Kowalski**

**21 minutes ago **Like : Comment : Share

**11 ** comments

**Kowalski **Getting creamed in real life chess wasn't enough, Skipper? ;)

**Skipper **HEY. I beat you all the time!  
**Kowalski **Last time I checked, I win 54% of the time. That's over half.

**Skipper **Well, let's change that number. ;)

**Marlene ***groan* This is going to be a 'battle to the death', isn't it?

**Kowalski **'Til death, or, a power outage. By the way, Skipper, you may want to read the rules before playing. This game is a little bit different than how we usually play.

**Skipper **HA! I've already read an entire wikia on this game!

**Kowalski **...You've got to be kidding...

**Skipper **Hey, science magazines are boring, sure, but battle strategies are interesting enough. You're going down!

**Kowalski **We'll see who's the noble victor!

**Marlene **Guys... it's an online game.

**Rico **B;KAJASHDIAYDU9!

* * *

**Mort **is now friends with **Beth **

**10 minutes ago **Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Private **and **2 others **like this**]**

**7 **comments

**Mort **i like beth! :):):):):)

**Skipper **You've gotta be kidding me! I'm telling you, this is a bad idea, guys! She said herself that she LIKES DOLPHINS! So, Beth, who are you really?

**Beth **Yes.

**Skipper **THAT'S NOT A LEGITIMATE ANSWER. So, you even have a last name, BETH?

**Beth **That's classified.

**Skipper **ARG!

**Beth **It's very fun messing with you.

* * *

**Kowalski **won a victory in **Ultimate Chess**

**12 minutes ago **Like **:** Comment **: **Share

**9 **comments

**Skipper **YOU CHEATED. THERE'S NO OTHER WAY.

**Kowalski **No, I won legitimately!

**Skipper ** You attacked my knight with some sort of... magicky thingy! Pawns can't do that!

**Kowalski ** They can in Ultimate Chess! I thought you said you knew all the rules!

**Skipper **I DID, BUT THAT WASN'T IN THERE ANYWHERE!

**Kowalski **Well, you can't believe everything you read online.

**Rico **HAHAHAHAHA!

**Marlene **lol! Just accept your defeat like a man, Skipper. ;) **[Kowalski **likes this**]**

**Skipper **REMATCH.

**Kowalski **Alrighty, if one defeat isn't enough...

* * *

**Skipper **won a victory in **Ultimate Chess**

**14 minutes ago **Like **:** Comment **: **Share

**3 **comments

**Skipper **HA!

**Kowalski **Might I remind you that I still win 54% of the time?

**Skipper **Fine, tiebreaker match.

* * *

**Marlene **is now friends with **Beth**

**32 minutes ago **Like** :** Comment **:** Share

**[4 people **like this**]**

**26 **comments

**Skipper **Marlene, not you too! I thought you were less stupid than that!

**Marlene **HEY. 'Less stupid'? ...ah, nevermind, I'll let that one slide. C'mon, Skipper, there's no way she's a spy for Blowhole. I talked to her for a while.

**Kowalski **To be fair, the prospect of Dr. Blowhole creating a Facebook page, disguising himself, and then befriending all the zoosters DOES seem a bit farfetched.

**Skipper **Farfetched, Kowalski? Farfetched? Dr. Blowhole sucking up all my memories was farfetched! Dr. Blowhole creating a giant ray to turn you all evil was farfetched! Dr. Blowhole taming a mutant MP3 player was farfetched! Pretty much everything we do in this zoo is farfetched!

**Kowalski **...Touché.

**Private **skipper, can you please just be friendly for once?

**Skipper **I am friendly! I'm a VERY friendly person!

**Kowalski **Um... **[Marlene **likes this**]**

**Beth **Zoo? What are you talking about?

**Rico **BKASCBIQDVGIU!

**Skipper **AUGH! She's stalking us!

**Beth **Uh, no, this just showed up in my news feed.

**Skipper **FACEBOOK IS STALKING US!

**Marlene **...*facepalm* Beth, Skipper seems to think you're a crazy dolphin supervillain with a robotic eye. I'm very sorry.

**Beth **Oh, HIM. He sent me a message earlier about how to find Private on Facebook, and started this whole thing going! Great guy. He didn't mention anything about being a supervillain though... huh.

**Kowalski **SWEET SUBATOMIC PARTICLES!

**Skipper **HA! I WAS PARTIALLY RIGHT!

**Dr. Blowhole **AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK!

**Skipper **BLOWHOLE!

**Marlene **AHHHHHH!

**Rico **AHHHHHH!

**Maurice **AHHHHHH!

**Kowalski **AHHHHHH!

**Private **AHHHHHHH!

**Beth **AHHHHHHH!

**King Julien XIII **PICKLES!


	6. Chess With Dolphins and Writers' Cubes

**Skipper **wrote on **Kowalski's **timeline: Our security has been compromised! Dr. Blowhole has been watching us! THIS IS A CODE RED! INITIATE PLAN DELTA ALPHA ZULU!

**12** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**6 **comments

**Kowalski ** Why on earth would you write that ON facebook then?

**Skipper **Blast! You're right! The enemy probably saw that! We'll have to change the plan and think of a new way to communicate.

**Kowalski **...we're in the same room.

**Skipper **...Oh.

**Marlene **Oh my gosh, Skipper. *facepalm*

**Skipper **Oh shush, Marlene. Go round up the animals into the zoo storage unit. We're having a zoo meeting.

* * *

**Marlene **changed her profile picture

**32** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Private **and **3 others **like this**]**

**18 **comments

**Beth **Cute otter! Did you take this at the Central Park Zoo?

**Marlene **Um, that's me.

**Beth **o_O Animals don't have facebooks.

**Dr. Blowhole ** That's just what they WANT you to think.

**Marlene **Blowhole?! How are you commenting on my picture?

**Dr. Blowhole **Simple. Beth commented, and I'm friends with Beth, so it showed up, and SOMEbody doesn't have their privacy settings set to 'friends only'.

**Skipper **Stay away from Marlene, Blowhole! You know it's me you're trying to get to!

**Dr. Blowhole **I haven't actually done anything evil yet!

**Skipper **Emphasis on the YET.

**Beth **You tricked me! You're a supervillain?

**Dr. Blowhole **I wouldn't say THAT. More like an innocent victim out for revenge.

**Beth **...This is really, really weird. I'm getting off facebook and going to see a doctor.

**Skipper **Good idea. You didn't see anything...

**Kowalski **Not to barge into the conversation, Skipper, but this is the internet, so it would be more correct to say, 'you didn't READ anything'. [**Marlene **likes this]

**Skipper ***facepalm* I KNOW that, but that's not my catchphrase! You can't just go around messing up a timeless catchphrase!

**Dr. Blowhole **For once I agree with you, Skipper. Catchphrases are sacred.

**Marlene **CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR CONVERSATION ELSEWHERE OFF MY TIMELINE, PLEASE?

**Dr. Blowhole **I'm afraid only if Skipper friends me.

* * *

**Skipper **is now friends with **Dr. Blowhole**

**20** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**9 **comments

**Kowalski **...Excuse me while I go check my alternate reality simulator to make sure I didn't leave it on last night.

**Rico **blahgah blahgah bad!

**Skipper **Well, how else am I going to communicate with and keep tabs on the enemy?

**King Julien XIII **you are being friends with the fishy face? i thought you hated that guy.

**Private **skipper are you sure this is a good idea?

**Dr. Blowhole **Thank you kindly for accepting my request, my arch-foe.

**Skipper **We're watching you too, Blowhole! You try anything funny, and we're on you like flies to vinegar!

**Kowalski **You mean flies to honey?

**Skipper **...Right. I knew that.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **is now friends with **Dr. Blowhole**

**13** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**4 **comments

**Kowalski **Now this doesn't surprise me quite as much.

**King Julien XIII **i don't particularly care for you mister dolphin flippy guy, but the king must have as many friends as possible, so consider yourself honored!

**Dr. Blowhole **...I would guess he gets quite annoying, doesn't he, Kowalski?

**Kowalski **You have no idea... [**Skipper **likes this]

* * *

**Kowalski **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Skipper**

**31** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Private **likes this**]**

**1 **comment

**Skipper **Rematch!

* * *

**Kowalski **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Skipper**

**21** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Marlene **likes this**]**

**1 **comment

**Skipper **Rematch again!

* * *

**Kowalski **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Skipper**

**11** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Dr. Blowhole **likes this**]**

**3 **comments

**Skipper **AUGHHHH! THIS GAME IS RIGGED!

**Kowalski **I apologize for my superior brainpower. ;) [**Marlene **likes this]

**Skipper **Superior nothing! It's just a lucky streak! REMATCH!

* * *

**Kowalski **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Skipper**

**1** **minute ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**7 **comments

**Skipper **That's it. This game is stupid. I'm never playing again.

**Marlene **LOL!

**Dr. Blowhole **Fancy a game with yours truly?

**Skipper **I just said I was never playing again.

**Kowalski **I will! I need a new, more challenging opponent.

**Skipper **Hey!

**Dr. Blowhole **Ooooh, burn, Skipper! Kowalski, we need to be friends to play.

* * *

**Kowalski **is now friends with **Dr. Blowhole**

**8** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

* * *

**Dr. Blowhole **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Kowalski**

**12** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**[Skipper **likes this**]**

**10 **comments

**Skipper **Hahaha! How does defeat feel, Kowalski?

**Kowalski **HE GOT LUCKY. PRIVATE DISTRACTED ME AND I MADE A WRONG MOVE. And why are rooting for your most hated enemy over me?

**Skipper **Hey, I just wanted you to feel the deep-rooted sorrow you've been putting me through. Now that that's over, I can go back to hating his guts.

**Private **wait a minute, when did I distract you?

**Kowalski **You had the Lunacorns on!

**Private **well you dont have to listen to it!

**Kowalski **BUT IT'S SO BAD I CAN'T TUNE IT OUT!

**Private **:(

**Dr. Blowhole **I suppose you're going to ask for a rematch?

**Kowalski **Yes.

* * *

**Dr. Blowhole **won a game of **Ultimate Chess **against **Kowalski**

**2** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**10 **comments

**Dr. Blowhole **I think I hear something coming from the direction of Manhattan... the sound of an intellectually inferior penguin crying! AKAKAKAKAK!

**Kowalski **Do you have to rub it in?

**Dr. Blowhole **Of course I do. I'm evil.

**Kowalski **Oh, cruel twist of fate... I SHALL BEST YOU ONE DAY, DOLPHIN! This I do swear!

**Dr. Blowhole **Yeah. Good luck with that.

* * *

**Private **posted a photo-

with **Skipper, Kowalski, **and **Rico**

near **Brooklyn, **New York

Watching a baseball game!

**14 minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

[**Marlene **and **King Julien XIII **like this]

**8 **comments

**Skipper **Private, what are you doing?! That mission was classified?

**Marlene **'Mission'? So a baseball game is a mission now?

**Skipper **Well, okay, not really. But I did NOT give Private permission to put up a photo of our covert actions!

**King Julien XIII **hahahaa! skipper, you are having a very funny expression in this pictury thing!

**Skipper **RAMIREZ HAD TWO STRIKES. I WAS GASPING WITH HORROR.

**King Julien XIII **and your eyes are so big! ahahaha!

**Skipper **Ugh... Private, drop the mouse and give me twenty.

**Private **sorry, sir. :(

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Dr. Blowhole**'s timeline: hiiii fishy face! what sort of evil plans are you working on now?

**22** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**7 **comments

**Dr. Blowhole **What? Why would I tell you what sort of evil plans I'm working on?

**Mort **i like evil plans!

**King Julien XIII **no you do not, mort. and you forget, blowy, that i used to be your super spy evil sidekick!

**Dr. Blowhole **Yeah. And then you double-crossed me.

**King Julien XIII **technically it was a triple-crossing since i double-crossed the penguins first.

**Dr. Blowhole **Whatever! I'm not working on any evil plans at the moment!

**King Julien XIII **oh. okay.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Dr. Blowhole**'s timeline: how about now?

**12** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**1 **comments

**Dr. Blowhole **No.

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Dr. Blowhole**'s timeline: how about now?

**7** **minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**1 **comments

**Dr. Blowhole **No!

* * *

**King Julien XIII **wrote on **Dr. Blowhole**'s timeline: how about now?

**2 minutes ago** Like **: **Comment **: **Share

**5 **comments

**Dr. Blowhole **NO! IT'S BEEN FIVE MINUTES, FOR THE LOVE OF DELICIOUS STEAMED LOBSTERS!

**Red One **Um... [**Red One **and **Red One **like this]

**King Julien XIII **oh. i see. you are having the evil writer's cube! would you like me to be taking the cube away? i have a sphere you can replace it with- no wait, that is a pyramid.

**Dr. Blowhole **Ughhhhhh!

**Skipper **Isn't he insufferable? [**Dr. Blowhole **likes this]


End file.
